Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Foundational Principles for Parenting - Part 2

Ingram's next 2 foundational principles for parenting:

3. Build Relationships That Bond
4. Implement a Repair and Maintenance Plan

Three Important Relational Axioms:

1. The stronger your relationship with your child, the more likely he will be to embrace your values and beliefs.
2. The weaker your relationship with your child, the less likely he will be to embrace your values and beliefs.
3. Tension, stress and difficulties are normal.

The "bond" you have with your children is like a bridge, where your values and beliefs can transfer over to them. If the bond (or bridge) is strong, your values and beliefs will transfer over to your children. If not, they won't.

Eight keys to cultivate that bond:

1. Unconditional Love
2. Scheduled Time
3. Focused Attention
4. Eye contact
5. Maintain Ongoing Communication
6. Meaningful Touch
7. Have fun together
8. Pray Together

"Life is a series of constant adjustments." My husband and I bought a house almost two years ago which we are renovating. One of the first improvements we made on the house is that my husband built a fire pit in the backyard. We then constructed a path through the backyard to the fire pit. After a year and a half of mowing and weed wacking around that path, we both decided to get rid of that path and replace it with lawn. It was a lot of work to undo the path, but it had to be done. The irony is that I loved that path when we first created it. Yet in practice, it was more trouble than it was worth. I believe I will love the absence of the path more.

Ingram writes that our relationships will also alter over time, both our marital relationships and our parenting relationships.

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