Saturday, December 27, 2008

Orbiting Jesus

Orbiting, by definition, means circling an item (usually a planet) from a distance. Observing, scanning, maybe even learning about the item. Never getting too close. Keeping space between you and the object.

When I first became a Christian, I orbited Jesus. I read the Bible, attended church, etc. But I was on the periphery. I did not get too close to Jesus. I stayed at a safe distance.

During the last few years I have approached Jesus more, out of necessity. I knew that in order to deal with a daughter being so sick, I would need to rely on Jesus. I knew I could not deal with that on my own. Even though I had been a Christian for years, I now felt a screaming need for Jesus.

I didn't know what was going to happen with my daughter - how this would end. Would she live? Would all these surgeries turn out OK? Would she have any kind of normal life? I still don't know how it will end. Of course she seems to be doing well, but I have learned that I have no idea what the future holds.

I am so ashamed that I didn't feel a need for God until I had a sick child. I wonder if God made her sick in order to draw me to Him. I would hate to think that God works that way, but it is possible.

I spent years orbiting Jesus. Things were going OK for me, or so I thought. I cannot tell you how much more peace I have found since I have approached Jesus and gotten closer to Him. I still feel like I am not as close as I could be, but I am certainly closer than I was. I have surrendered myself to the point where I know that I cannot keep Jesus at an arm's length. I cannot keep my distance and expect to feel Him in my life. I must approach Him regularly and without reservation.

This post was inspired by the book Simply Jesus and You by Joseph Stowell.

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