Monday, November 9, 2009

Living Your Life in "Chapters"

Byers writes about living your life in stages, which she calls chapters. My life has been lived in chapters, although I have never heard that term before.

There was a phase in my life where I was a student: college, then law school. I actually loved college and law school. I enjoyed the classes I took, reading books just for the sake of it. I enjoyed having so little stress and responsibility. I enjoyed the constant opportunities to socialize. I enjoyed the insular atmosphere of a college campus.

There was a phase in my life when I was a career woman: I had a full law office with two secretaries. I dictated correspondence, memos and orders. I had three filing cabinets full of case files. I brought work home in the evenings, read the legal newspapers, and met with clients on Saturday mornings.

Now I am in a phase in my life called motherhood. I do not have time to read much at all. I cannot devote the hours necessary to further my career - just maintain it. I have not done work on a weekend in years. I read Dr. Seuss books in funny voices. I have no secretaries and my law "office" is a desk we have set up in the guest room. I research toddler appropriate crafts. I cut the crusts off PB & J sandwiches.

Catherine's medical challenges are also JUST a "chapter" in my life. Every time I start feeling overwhelmed by everything we have to do and the fear of what is happening to her and what could happen to her, I try to remind myself that it is only for a short time. (Of course "short" is relative -we are going on over four years now.) I know that someday she will eat on her own. Someday her body will make platelets on its own. Someday she will be a get this cast removed and I won't have to carry her everywhere.

I can't wait to see what other chapters my life holds. I have dreams that there may be a chapter of travel for my husband and me. Maybe a chapter where I become a mentor to teenage daughters. Maybe a chapter of grandparenthood? Only God knows what chapters are in my future.

This post was inspired by the book "The Mother Load" by Mary M. Byers.

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