Friday, April 29, 2011

It Just Happened

Angela Thomas writes:
"I never consciously chose to love my children more than I loved God. ... They just moved in and took up residence.  They completely swept me off my feet ..."

This is like the age-old frog in a pot of boiling water analogy.  Miscarrying a baby, then having a baby, who became a toddler, then miscarrying another baby, then having another baby, while the first one became a kindergartener and then the second one became a toddler means that years have passed at a rocket pace for me. 

We celebrated our seventh anniversary a few weeks ago.  I could not believe that it has been so long.  I still feel like I an getting to know Robby and still trying to figure out how marriage works. 

Catherine's 6th birthday is over four months away.  Yet, she is already planning it for me.  She wants to hold it at our neighborhood pool and have an Ariel theme, with pink streamers and lots of balloons.  Of course there is still lots of time for her to change her mind. 

But as we talk about her 6th birthday party every day, I am still in shock that I will soon be the mother of a six year old.  That day will be a milestone: I will be a third of the way done with raising her.  I still tear up thinking of the fact that she will be in first grade next year.  That sounds so big, so serious. 

Maybe Catherine's frequent verbal birthday party planning is God's way of helping me process my daughter's aging.  He knows I need it!

I can easily understand the statement "the next thing I knew I had an eighteen year old."  It just happens ...  

God, I need to be more intentional with my marriage, my parenting, and my life.  I don't want years (or decades) of my life to "just happen." 

This post was inspired by the book "Tender Mercy for a Mother's Soul" by Angela Thomas.

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