Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Depression v. Joy

McHenry writes that for most of her life she felt like there was something wrong with her. She was a Christian and the Bible tells her that she she should experience "joy," yet she felt depression and self-criticism.

I have been blessed that I have never personally experienced depression. I have experienced a lot of self-criticism and the subsequent shame and guilt. I know God shows me grace, but do I show grace to myself? Not as much as I need to. I continue to kick myself for mistakes I made, rather than forgive myself and move on.

McHenry writes that her critical mature made her negative with her children and she almost lost a relationship with them because of her constant criticism of them. I have to remember to be positive with my children and limit my criticism to only what is absolutely necessary.

McHenry writes that after 3 months of prayer walking she is no longer depressed. She is groggy in the morning, but is excited about what God will show her. She says that she notices more details as she repeats her walk daily. Again, this process of walking and praying every morning sounds like a great idea. I know I would benefit spiritually and physically. Yet, I still have not been given a strong enough argument to believe I will actually do this.

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