Wednesday, August 13, 2008


McHenry is a high school teacher. She struggles with motivating her students. She writes that there are two types of people: Deciders and Feelers. Deciders are motivated by logic. Feelers are motivated by the heart.

I am a Decider. I suppress all my emotions to the point that I cannot hear what my heart is saying. I have gotten better about listening to my heart since my daughter has been sick. My heart has screamed out so loudly to me during the past 3 years that I have finally had to listen to my heart. I have found myself crying in public - in the hospital, in doctors' offices. I have, at times, not just teared up, but wailed.

Yet, in most issues, I still am primarily motivated by logic. My legal training has taught me to determine the pros and cons of any decision and, hopefully, make the wise decision.

McHenry writes that prayerwalking starts with a hungering for God. I do hunger for God. But, I think I can hunger for God and respond to that without waking up in the morning. I am so resistant to doing anything that is not absolutely necessary in the morning. Every time that I have tried to do anything in the morning (like exercise or pray) I have failed and then felt guilty and unworthy.

Is it Satan that makes me so averse to mornings? Or is it my fleshly weaknesses? Is it really important what time of day I pray? I can't believe that God would care if I pray in the morning, afternoon or evening. I would think that God would rejoice if I pray at all. I would think that if I pray regularly and joyfully in the evening, my relationship with God would grow. Isn't that my ultimate goal?

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